The Night Club

The frayed carpet on the stairs leading inside was giving me syphallis. The handrail that helped the drunks keep from falling was giving me gonorrhea. The shoulders of the people bumping into me as they stumpled out into the street were giving me herpes simplex two, hepatitus B, and chlaymidea. Just being in that part of town put me at risk for HPV, Trichomoniasis, and maybe even HIV.

The inside was poorly lit, which was probably a good idea, because it made the place seem cleaner. The loud music made conversation nearly impossible: techno and then a slow song, techno and then a slow song, over and over. The decor was out of the '70s, but not grandma's house '70s; 70s pay-by-the-hour hotel rooms, '70s porno, '70s bordellos.

It's funny that there was so much sexual imagery around because there was nothing sexual about the place. Overweight, 40-something Koreans littered the dance floor. The wide narrow area in front of the stage looked as if your high school christmas dance had continued to be held for twenty years after graduation. People still came to the dance, but no one bothered to dress up anymore. But they still managed to dance in that awkward, celebate way after all these years.

Even the younger Koreans looked strung-out or perhaps suffering from a life-threatening illness. When I used the restroom, I didn't wash my hands because I didn't know who had touched that sink knob before me. At least I knew my crotch was fairly clean, but I had no idea what strange illness that knob had ready for me.

When we were seated, they put us right in front of the speakers. They were trying to ensure that there was no chance of conversation, as if the language barrier and the fact that I was out with my boss wasn't enough.

I pitched in my 10,000 won (about $10) to sit down. This covered the cost of roughly one beer, and, of course, the joy of being there. I left after about a half hour and rode home alone because I just couldn't take it anymore. I tried to get into the mindset of a person who would find that place fun, who would take co-workers there to show them a good time. I tried to, but I couldn't.

And as I laid down to sleep, I reminded myself never to go out with my boss again.

R