Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Fall

While I've known for quite some time that my time in Korea was drawing to a close, the reality of it finally ending has actually started to hit me. I'm starting to do things, albeit small things, for the last time. I renewed my Korean visa for the last time today. I found what will be my last job in Korea just last week. And because of the new schedule, this Thursday will most likely be my last French class at Alliance Francais. Things are beginning to wrap up, and there's a real sense of finality with each one.

And then it hit me: A bigger ending is slowly sneaking up on me. This is my last semester at PNU, and it's over halfway finished. My students, some of whom I've taught for several years now, will no longer be my students anymore. My office won't be my office anymore. I won't even be able to say I'm a PNU professor anymore. That'll all be done. It's sad for me to think about since I've enjoyed the job so much, but it's also time to move on. I can't stay frozen forever.

I suppose it's also possible to see all of these endings as new beginnings. After all, my applications for the universities that I hope to go to are also just about done. But it's hard to see an important beginning coming. It's easier to see endings coming. Beginnings you can really only see in retrospect. You only can assign importance to an event once you've realized it's important, and it's impossible to do that until it's already happened. Maybe my life is full of beginnings now--invisible beginnings--but I won't be able to tell you for sure until after those things have begun.

R

12 Comments:

At 10:32 PM, Blogger Just do it said...

Hey, I still can't believe you are actually leaving. And I'm not sure why you have to leave. If I were you, I would just stay in Korea and enjoy my life. You have a wife here and have a lucrative job which you like very much and have many students who are willing to listen to you.

I sometimes think you are already half Korean. I'm not sure what made u like this, but you are so familiar not only Koreans' English pronunciation but also not making an eye contact while talking.
And your dress code??? Well, that's the only thing remind me of the fact that you are American:P

Anyway, we should at least have a farewell party before you leave, right?

 
At 5:30 AM, Blogger RPShep said...

Thanks for trying to get me to stay, but it's time to move on. I really like my job here, but I don't want to have the same job for the rest of my life, and I want to get my PhD, which I have to go back to the US for.

Yeah, we can have a farewell party. I don't see why not.

R

 
At 5:15 PM, Blogger Damian James said...

He's ours - we want him back :)

 
At 2:24 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Very true. When you are about to leave a place, you tend to focus on what is ending rather than the new beginnings.
I wish you good luck for the PhD application, and for your return to the US.

Bonne route.

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger RPShep said...

Thanks.

R

 
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